Happy new year friends. No, I havent succumbed to pneumonia over the festive period and am raring to get going in 2006. This is of course sarcasm. Already this year has been filled with angst, disappointment, a harrowing trip to Argos (the very vision of hell surely?), dark mornings and freezing nights. One thing that has temporarily distracted me from my winter malaise is Celebrity Big Brother. More wilfully bizarre than in recent years an array of pea-brained models, egomaniac MP's, has-been actors/resses, troubled gameshow hosts and grotesque plastic creations are all all on show and more. Bewilderingly, even though the term celebrity now seems to encaspulate anyone who has, or has had , a noun in their surname, the selection of a woman who from what I can tell greatest achievement is giving her ageing Swedish boss (and numerous colleagues so I am told) some 'oral relief' still comes across as quite incredible. Its a long way from Clark Gable and Marlene Dietrich I can tell you. The show has kept me hooked though and I look forward to seeing the brainless big-boobed simpelton with the complexion of the inside of a baked bean can, (Jodi someone) pelted with bottles of urine (or better, stoned to death) by a baying crowd. I can dream. Remeber love, the Dodo died, then Di died, Dodi died, then Dando died. Logic suggests that Jodi, or at the very least Dido are probably next. Speaking of easy to prepare snacks, I am alerted to the troubling news that Golden Wonder, purveyor of student/pensioner favourites 'Pot Noodles' amongst others, are poised to go bust. This is simply awful news, as I am massive fan of the spicy tomato and beef flavour ones (although the chicken and sweetcorn ones do taste like damp grit and mucous) That fat tongued mockney berk who wants kids to eat watercress foccacias with a tangy lentil and sharon fruit coulis ought to be strung up - this is your doing Oliver!